" I’m going to make fun of you until the end of time for that. And you know, for us that’s going to be forever. So yes, I will. "

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"I’ll swallow my blood before I swallow my pride."

— Al Capone (via asperitasrex)
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I need them to be friends, because

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Make me choose: Vampire Damon or Human Damon 

requested by fallendamon

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.

classifixd started following you

         ”Yes? I’d like you to send out the dog catcher please.
                    Apparently someone’s let strays out.”

shebelongstosunlight - "We can take a quick shower."

       ”Yeah, if we get in the shower we’re not getting out quick.”

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blackmagicwarren:

youcantroofyme:

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       ”I need a new murder buddy
                    —and a leather jacket.”

"If you want a leather jacket, go to a store. . And I’m gonna assume you’re joking about the murder thing." Liberty eyed the man warily. Was he drunk?

Azure eyes snapped over to the woman. Blinking rapidly he was obviously annoyed with her response. “Thank you, captain obvious, I think I must have missed that lesson in school. And no, I thinking you might be victim number one.”

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hybridharbringerx:

youcantroofyme:

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"There is nothing happy about cages. Until you set them on fire that is."

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"And then once I burn the cage down….I turn into the most horrific little monster that won’t stop until each and every little doctor that tormented me ends up dead with their bones breaking beneath my claws.”

"I think you meant ‘wouldn’t stop’. Watch your tenses and make sure your verb agreement matches. Otherwise I’m beginning to think you and I might have a bit in common. Outside the fact you probably have fleas."

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martyrxd:

youcantroofyme

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      Damon knew he should have gone with a different route.
         Hindsight is always 20/20 though and now he’d have to 
         live with the repercussions of his actions. Azure eyes came
         up to stare her down after his initial reaction of annoyed
         amusement.

                       ” I said buy not compel.
                        There’s a difference,
                           Elena. “

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       Actually —- she kind of liked just winding him
       up. It wasn’t like it actually did any harm. Besides, he might
       be an immortal two hundred something vampire. But for all
       her issues — she was still just nineteen. 

                        ” I can’t b u y you something
                       that isn’t legal for me for two years. “

        She really needed to stop that. There were just somethings
           you didn’t do when it came to a homicidal vampire and one
           of those was upsetting him unduly. People generally died
           when that happened — which he was seriously considering.

             ” See, when you say things like that
                it makes me regret taking you on. “

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TL